Trust

Over the past few days, the only words I have been hearing are “trust Me, I have everything under control.” God has really been laying it on thick regarding trust, and I know it is because that is my biggest battle. As I was spending time with Him last night, I was brought to Psalm 31:19-24:

19 How great is the goodness

   that you’ve reserved

   for those who honor you,

   that you commit to those

   who take refuge in you—

      in the sight of everyone!

20 You hide them

in the shelter of your wings,

   safe from human scheming.

   You conceal them in a shelter,

   safe from accusing tongues.

21 Bless the LORD,

   because he has wondrously revealed

   his faithful love to me

   when I was like a city under siege!

22 When I was panicked, I said,

   “I’m cut off from your eyes!”

But you heard my request for mercy

   when I cried out to you for help.

23 All you who are faithful, love the LORD!

   The LORD protects those who are loyal,

      but he pays the proud back

      to the fullest degree.

24 All you who wait for the LORD,

be strong and let your heart take courage.

As I have been going through quite a bit over the past six months, God has been my refuge. He has protected me and kept me guarded from the evil schemes of the enemy. Although I have had to face some fiery trials, He does not give me anything I can’t handle. Also, by facing fiery trials, it is a part of the refining process in my relationship with Him. Think about it: The way that gold and silver are refined is through fire. It is the fire that burns the bad parts away and allows it to be formed in the image that the maker wants. God has a purpose for everything, and when I go through the fire, it is only going to make me stronger. He is just making me into who He called me to be. The best part of it all is that I don’t have to do it alone. God is right there, each step of the way.

These past few weeks have been an exciting adventure. I can’t wait to see what God continues to reveal to me. I can’t wait to see how His plan unfolds.

"All you who wait for the LORD, be strong and let your heart take courage." (Psalm 31:24)

Little bits of everything

I feel like I have so much going through my head. I don't even know where to start. Well, I have discovered that my biggest battle is trusting God. I guess there is a small part of me that toils with the idea that He won't come through on His promises and that I have to step in to help Him. I'm really struggling with this. I know God has a plan, but it's really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Anywho, moving away from the daily battle with my self and the struggle to put God first in every situation. I'm currently taking classes at a worship school, and I had to write a paper on what worship means to me. I thought I would share it.

Worship is a powerful word that plays a major role in our relationship with Christ. Many times people use this word without really knowing what it is. They typically think praise and worship have the same meaning, but this is not the case. In simple terms, to praise God is to lift Him up or exalt Him; to worship God is to bow down before Him. When I hear the word worship, two things come to my mind: worship as more than just on Sunday and David.

To me, worship is done more than just on a Sunday morning. I strive to worship God in my daily life. However, what does this really mean? Worship is to bow down. To bow down is a symbol of sacrificing or submitting yourself to God. I would also argue that this means to remain separated or consecrated unto God. In Numbers 6:2 Moses writes that the Nazarites would “separate themselves unto the Lord.”  I desire to be a modern day Nazarite. Worshipping God is having the ability to sacrifice our selfish needs as a way to grow closer in a relationship with Him. I want my every day activities to be worship unto Him; I have a desire to be holy and acceptable in His sight.

Along with this desire to be holy and acceptable in His sight, I also want a heart like David’s. David is one of the most well-known worshippers in all of history. What David had that many people seem to miss the mark on in regards to worship is that he was a man after God’s own heart. The description of David is truly one of the simplest examples of a worshiper, to chase after God’s heart and really have a desire to be like Him. This, once again, relates back to the idea of submitting ourselves to God and being consecrated unto Him.

Worship seems like such a simple act. However, people are continuously worshipping other idols and looking to the world for answers. Fortunately there is an solution to all of this and it is a pure and simple relationship with Christ, where worship is a daily act. As we focus our worship to being a continuous activity, the things of this world fade away and our focus becomes heavenward. Worshipping God through our lives is only a glimpse of the type of worship we will partake in once we reach heaven. We should relish the opportunities we are given to worship God here on earth.

So I think that's all for right now. I FINALLY finished The Slumber of Christianity by Ted Dekker. I have a lot to say about what it taught me and what it confirmed that I already knew. However, that will be for another post. I'll also have to update on how God is teaching me about trusting Him.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Context & Confusion: The Best Description

I guess the best way to start this post is that there comes a point in time where people need to agree to disagree. I will always have my beliefs, and nothing will cause me to waver. The post I was referring to decided to take a moment to rebuttal what I wrote in my last post: Maybe I Should Attend TheCall After All, Context and Confusion. I completely respect him for following up to what I said. What I have realized over the past years is that it is in these moments, such as TheCall, that there will be a line drawn amongst the different beliefs of Christians. Sadly, I wished it would be the opposite. I wished it would bring unity, which really is one of the core values of TheCall.


As for bad theology, Biblical illiteracy, pride, and gullibility, I was quite taken back by these remarks. I have to say that when I wrote the response I sat at my table with a print-out copy of the original post and a Greek-Hebrew, KJV Bible. Also, being raised by a mother who has her degree in theology, I know to not take it out of context and the importance of looking at the history behind the scripture. I'm also very cautious and completely prayed-up and guarded-up before attending any church-related event. I want my motives to be pure and acceptable in His sight. However, I do realize that Paul states that "God has chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God has chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty" (1 Corinthians 1:17). So, God is always using situations to make me stronger in my relationship with Him.


However, I understand these were not remarks just towards me but also the people I associate with or "the circle." Therefore, I believe it is important to argue that Lou Engle, Mike Bickle, IHOP, etc. believe in the Bible in its entirety. When I say this, I mean speaking in tongues, prophetic words, signs & wonders, etc. are all for today. This is where many Christians draw the line because they don't want to dabble in that area. However, if you just read in Acts 2 regarding what is says happened on the day of Pentecost and the outpouring of the Holy Spirit...well you can't get any plainer than that. Acts 2:16-21 even references a verse from Joel regarding what WILL happen in the last days: "But this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel: 'And it shall come to pass in the last days, says God, that I will pour out of My Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your young men shall see visions, your old men shall dream dreams. And on My menservants and on My maidservants I will pour out My Spirit in those days; and they shall prophesy. I will show wonders in heaven above and signs in the earth beneath: blood and fire and vapor of smoke. The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before the coming of the great and awesome day of the LORD. And it shall come to pass that whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.'" Newsflash, we ARE in the last days because we know the signs of His coming, as referenced in Matthew 24.


In regards to the comment about this group of people saying that it is the church's job to bring Christ back and not by what is said in Matthew 24:14...well, I think you need to listen to people like Wes Martin, David Sliker, and Zack Hensley, who come out of IHOP, AND (of course) read the Bible. Before Jesus ascended into Heaven, He said, "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age" (Matthew 28:19-20). There are two things here that I would like to point out. (1) We are commanded to go into ALL the world and preach the gospel. This is the Great Commission. So it is the church's job to preach the gospel, which will eventually lead to the second-coming of Jesus. (2) We are to baptize them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Going back to Acts 2, when the power of the Holy Spirit fell (aka baptism of the Holy Spirit), they began to speak in tongues, perform signs & wonder, prophecy, etc. So, we should naturally walk in this power IF the Holy Spirit is truly living inside of us. 


I guess what this leads to is discernment. Yes, the author of the rebuttal is completely accurate in saying that you need to do your work. This does not mean that researching the Internet is going to get your answers or only choosing the verses that you like. You need to dig down deep into the scriptures. You need to experience, first-hand, what REALLY happens at these type of events. BUT most importantly, you need to ask Jesus for discernment. The point of being a Christian is to have a relationship with Jesus Christ; it is through that relationship that Jesus will give you direction regarding situations. 


I pray that you rely on Jesus, who is the Cornerstone. He will guide you through every step you take, and He is on the only one that you can EVER trust.

Why I WILL Be Attending “TheCall” in Detroit

Tonight I read a post that came up on my newsfeed on Facebook about reasons why a person shouldn't attend TheCall in Detroit on 11-11-11. My first emotion was disappointment then along came frustration. Let me begin by saying that I did not and do not agree with anything this post has to say, and I wanted to take a moment to clarify some things regarding TheCall, Lou Engle, The International House of Prayer (IHOP), etc.

The first point that is brought up in this post is that Lou Engle has been saying the exact same message since 2000. Well, if a person did any research or sat under a message by Lou Engle, they would soon find out that The Call is a movement. So, yes Lou Engle has been, essentially, pressing in for similar things as he goes from city to city. Lou Engle’s dream is based on “how can we, as followers of Christ, turn America back go God?” His vision is to see a generation, a nation of Nazarites.

Okay, well you might be thinking, what are Nazarites? Nazarite originates from the Hebrew word “nazir,” which means to be separate or consecrated. In Numbers 6:2 Moses writes that the Nazarites would “separate themselves unto the Lord.” We should want to see a holy generation, a generation wanting to bring justice.

Now if you’re one of those people who believe that Jesus came to abolish the law (which I’ll get into that later), well you might be thinking, “that’s only referencing the Old Testament.” Well, yes, but here is what is says in 2 Corinthians 6:17: “Therefore, come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you.” So even in the New Testament, we, as Christians, are called to separate ourselves unto God. We need to have a desire to be holy and acceptable in His sight.

In regards to being a generation that wants to bring justice, this is clearly listed in a couple places in the New Testament.

• “Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19)
• “For we know Him who said, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord. And again, ‘The LORD will judge His people.’” (Hebrews 10:30)

How do you know that the Lord will judge His people? Well, He says so, as read above. It’s also important to note that those who walk in a relationship with Christ are considered the just. It says in Hebrews 10:38 that “the just live by faith.” So let’s dig a little deeper, what is faith? “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1). Okay, let me bring this back to how it relates to TheCall.

TheCall is about seeing a nation turn back to its first love, Jesus. It is about a nation getting on its knees in prayer and fasting and repenting for all the sins that have been committed, with a big emphasis being on abortion. Read what is says in Revelation 2:4-5: “Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent.” Going a little further, we’ll look at two scriptures that address the lampstand:

• “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 5:14-16)
• “Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Now five of them were wise, and five were foolish. Those who were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them, but the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. But while the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept. And at midnight a cry was heard: ‘Behold, the bridegroom is coming; go out to meet him!’ Then all those virgins arose and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ But the wise answered, saying, ‘No, lest there should not be enough for us and you; but go rather to those who sell, and buy for yourselves.’ And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut. Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, ‘Lord, Lord, open to us!’ But he answered and said, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, I do not know you.’ Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming.” (Matthew 25:1-13)

So, we are called as a nation to repent, and TheCall is just living out what God calls us to do in Revelation. I pulled out the two passages from Matthew because I wanted you to see the representation of the lampstand. (1) We are to let our light shine before all men. We should desire to outshine the ways of the world. (2) If we don’t make sure to have oil in our lamps, in other words if we don’t prepare for Jesus’ coming, we will be left behind. Do we really want to miss Jesus’ coming? Who wants to live eternity in hell? I sure don’t. Reading this, I want to repent for all the sins of I have done, all the sins I have allowed my country to do, and all the sins that my past generations have accepted. TheCall is just bringing this idea to the forefront. Christians tend to be unaware of what their actions will do when facing Christ on judgment day.

Moving on. The United State of America WAS founded on Christian principles. In the posting I’m arguing against, there is a statement that because America was founded on Christian principles, God has to bless us. Well, actually if you read the Bible, in Exodus 23 24 God specifically states, “you shall serve the LORD your God, and He will bless your bread and your water. And I will take sickness away from the midst of you.” Well the author of the original post furthers the statement by saying that America does not have a covenant relationship with God because we are not Israel. Okay, well if there is anything I have learned, it is that God is no respecter of persons. Look at what God has to say in Acts and Romans:

• “Then Peter opened his mouth and said: ‘In truth I perceive that God shows no partiality. But in every nation whoever fears Him and works righteousness is accepted by Him. The word which God sent to the children of Israel, preaching peace through Jesus Christ—He is Lord of all—that word you know, which was proclaimed throughout all Judea, and began from Galilee after the baptism which John preached: how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power, who went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him. And we are witnesses of all things which He did both in the land of the Jews and in Jerusalem, whom they killed by hanging on a tree. Him God raised up on the third day, and showed Him openly, not to all the people, but to witnesses chosen before by God, even to us who ate and drank with Him after He arose from the dead. And He commanded us to preach to the people, and to testify that it is He who was ordained by God to be Judge of the living and the dead. To Him all the prophets witness that, through His name, whoever believes in Him will receive remission of sins.’” (Acts 10:34-43)
• “Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. But we know that the judgment of God is according to truth against those who practice such things. And do you think this, O man, you who judge those practicing such things, and doing the same, that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance? But in accordance with your hardness and your impenitent heart you are treasuring up for yourself wrath in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God, who “will render to each one according to his deeds”: eternal life to those who by patient continuance in doing good seek for glory, honor, and immortality; but to those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness—indignation and wrath, tribulation and anguish, on every soul of man who does evil, of the Jew first and also of the Greek; but glory, honor, and peace to everyone who works what is good, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For there is no partiality with God. For as many as have sinned without law will also perish without law, and as many as have sinned in the law will be judged by the law (for not the hearers of the law are just in the sight of God, but the doers of the law will be justified; for when Gentiles, who do not have the law, by nature do the things in the law, these, although not having the law, are a law to themselves, who show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and between themselves their thoughts accusing or else excusing them) in the day when God will judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ, according to my gospel.” (Romans 2:1-16)

So what can you take away from these passages? Christian or non-Christian, God will judge both. A label is not worth anything. It isn’t about good works. It’s about a relationship with Jesus Christ. It’s about being the hands and feet of Jesus.

Okay, the author in the original post makes a point regarding 2 Chronicles 7:14 that it is about individual repentance not a nation. Since when did God appoint someone to read between the lines and say “this promise is NOT for America?” Once again this is going back to that belief that Jesus abolished the law, therefore the Old Testament information is mere historical fact not information that can be applied to every day life. I guess this is a breaking point to bring up the fact that Jesus FULFILLED the law. Therefore the Old Testament still applies much to my life as it did to the Israelites’ lives thousands of years ago. Jesus said, “[do] not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill. For assuredly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, one jot or one tittle will by no means pass from the law till all is fulfilled. Whoever therefore breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I say to you, that unless your righteousness exceeds the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.” Why do I bring this up? Well, the post makes a comment that TheCall and Lou Engle make references to obscure Old Testament passages. Since when did passages from the Old Testament become “obscure”? Please, enlighten me. Everything I have read is completely in context, even the point that is made about desiring the Spirit of Elijah (which I will address in a little bit).

Going back to this claim regarding 2 Chronicles 7:14. Well, then why will we, as the bride of Christ, be responsible for the shedding of innocent blood? By remaining isolated as a church, it is a betrayal of God’s purpose according to Acts 2. We as Christians have become accustomed to the ways of the world, by allowing abortion and homosexuality to run rapid. Did you know that more babies are killed through abortion in one year in ONLY America than the amount of people that were killed during World War II? Doesn’t that make you sick? Think of all the families that want to have children, but for one reason or another, can’t. Think about what God said to Jeremiah, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.” (Jeremiah 1:5). Remember, God is no respecter of persons. Therefore, He knew each and every single person before they were knit together in their mother’s womb. So, when we, as a church, sit back and don't repent for our sins, we are essentially ignoring God’s purpose.

Well some people might argue that where sin abounds, grace abounds (Romans 6). That is, in fact, true. However, the piece of information that people miss is that you can’t knowingly sin: “What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? Certainly not!” (Romans 6:15). So, we can’t just ignore the sin and hope that grace and time will fix it. It says in Jude 1:23 that some people have to be saved “with fear, pulling them out of the fire, hating even the garment defiled by the flesh.” Or better yet, how about what it says in James 5:19-20: “Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.” We are supposed to chase after those who are sinning. We are supposed to desire to change what the world thinks is okay, such as abortion and homosexuality.

Remember, our goal, as Christians, is Heaven: “I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:14). If we could, wouldn’t we want every person on this planet to have an eternal life, glorifying Jesus Christ? So, once again, this is why we need a call to repentance. This is why we need to press into God to heal our lands. Oh, but wait, the author of the post says this is moralism. Really? Since when did God healing and blessing our lands have anything to do with morality?

On the kick of morality, the post goes on to make a statement regarding people needing the gospel and making a subtle comment about not focusing on the Cross. My comment is, if you’ve never been to a meeting with Lou Engle, a pre-Call event, an IHOP conference, etc. then YOU HAVE NO ROOM TO TALK! It is about spreading the gospel because we are the hands and feet of Jesus. It is about the Cross.

Oh and, why pray all night for something God has already given us a solution for? Well, try and answer that one yourself. Why is our world facing more tribulations and more wars than ever before? Our only solution is to humble ourselves before God and seek His face. Wait, that’s based from 2 Chronicles 7:14. So, hmmm…can’t use that, right? BUT it says in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 that we are to “PRAY WITHOUT CEASING.” And here is where I bring in my point of the Spirit of Elijah that we should desire. Quick recap: Elijah was the prophet that did not stop praying until he saw God move. We should not want to stop, similar to Elijah, until we see our nation on its knees, coming back to its first love, Jesus Christ, and even then we are still commanded to pray without ceasing.

Changing gears to address one more thing in the post: blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. According to the post I’m arguing against, Lou Engle blasphemies the Holy Spirit and John MacArthur states that Lou Engle and Mike Bickle of IHOP dishonor God. Here is what MacArthur states, “For example, they [believe they] have authority equal to the Apostles. They have the same power the Apostles had through the Holy Spirit to do miracles and to exercise that power and they’ve had it since 2001. Some of them fall into the prophet category, some of them fall into the Apostle category, they speak what the Holy Spirit reveals to them with the same authority the Apostles have.” Once again, God is no respecter of person. Also, since when did signs and wonders become a move that's NOT of the Holy Spirit? It states that it “was declared at first by the Lord, and it was attested to us by those who heard, while God also bore witness by signs and wonders and various miracles and by gifts of the Holy Spirit distributed according to his will” (Hebrew 2:3-4). So, if we are moving as directed by the Holy Spirit, signs and wonders SHOULD automatically follow. Signs and wonders were common occurrences during Jesus’ time and when the Apostles were ministering. Why do we think that should change? Surprise, we shouldn’t!

So TheCall is a movement that is releasing the Spirit of Elijah on a generation. TheCall is about preparing us to be a Nazarite people. We should want to pray without ceasing. We should want to see God heal our nation. We should want to see God bring this country back to the principles it was founded on. In order for this to happen we need to fast and pray until we see God break open the heavens and send revival. Yes, I used the word: REVIVAL. There is a revival coming. God is raising up an army. It is your choice whether you will join it. However, I know for a fact that I will be ready to be on the front lines. It will only get worse before it gets better, and I want to be prayed up. When I’m facing the judgment seat of Christ, I want to hear Him say “well done, my good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25) and not "depart from me, you worker of iniquity” (Matthew 7).

A call to fast

The Call is approaching! I'm SOOOOOO excited that I can barely contain myself. Twenty-four hours of crying out to God with thousands of other believers is going to be an experience I will never forget. My heart's desire is to be that Elijah generation. I want to pray without ceasing. I want to pray until God moves. 

In preparation for The Call, we have been asked to fast. However, I realized not many people understand the true purpose of a fast. Honestly, I guess I never knew the extent, until reading Isaiah 58. After reading, it made me realize that I just might have, in the past, done exactly what the prophet tells us NOT to do. 

I've decided to break Isaiah 58:1-9 down. In the first part, Israel is crying because they feel as if they worship God all the time but aren't seeing Him move in their circumstances. God is telling them that they act pious.

 ¹ “Shout with the voice of a trumpet blast.
      Shout aloud! Don’t be timid.
   Tell my people Israel of their sins!
    ² Yet they act so pious!
   They come to the Temple every day
      and seem delighted to learn all about me.
   They act like a righteous nation
      that would never abandon the laws of its God.
   They ask me to take action on their behalf,
      pretending they want to be near me.
 ³ ‘We have fasted before you!’ they say.
      ‘Why aren’t you impressed?
   We have been very hard on ourselves,
      and you don’t even notice it!’

God rebuttals them and explains the wrong reasons for fasting:

   “I will tell you why!” I respond.
      “It’s because you are fasting to please yourselves.
   Even while you fast,
      you keep oppressing your workers.
 ⁴ What good is fasting
      when you keep on fighting and quarreling?
   This kind of fasting
      will never get you anywhere with me.
 ⁵ You humble yourselves
      by going through the motions of penance,
   bowing your heads
      like reeds bending in the wind.
   You dress in burlap
      and cover yourselves with ashes.
   Is this what you call fasting?
      Do you really think this will please the Lord?

God then goes on to explain this is why we should fast:

 ⁶ “No, this is the kind of fasting I want:
   Free those who are wrongly imprisoned;
      lighten the burden of those who work for you.
   Let the oppressed go free,
      and remove the chains that bind people.

In terms of fasting, we can't just crawl into a corner and pray for things to happen. We need to actively serve. Jesus expected to serve and not be served (Matthew 20:28). So, we should have this same mindset. We need to put our words and thoughts into action, not just sit back and wait for God to move. In order to see the change, we must be the change.

⁷ Share your food with the hungry,
      and give shelter to the homeless.
   Give clothes to those who need them,
      and do not hide from relatives who need your help.

By following His idea of a fast, this is what will happen: 

 ⁸ “Then your salvation will come like the dawn,
      and your wounds will quickly heal.
   Your godliness will lead you forward,
      and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind.
 ⁹ Then when you call, the Lord will answer.
      ‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply.

A fast is NOT for pleasure. It is NOT to be done with a horrible attitude. Well, then what really is the purpose of a fast? Fasting is supposed to break the chains of injustice, free the oppressed, cancel debts, etc. It is supposed to bring us closer in our walk with God. We fast to intercede. We fast to see God move in a situation.


Going back to what I originally started this post out with. If you haven't heard of The Call, I suggest you go check it out: The Call. God is going to move mightily. I can't wait to see how He uses us, His people. Be prepared world because there is an army rising up. An army that does not back down. An army that is keen to every move that might be thrown at them. This army is going to fight and this army is going to win!

Just waiting

Can I just be real for a second? I, honestly, believe that guys do not have emotions. I cannot understand how they can say they like a girl and then two second later, get over them and be interested in someone else. Girls get attached, and it takes more than a second to get over them. I feel like most guys do not grasp this concept. However, when they go and make a move like telling them their interested in someone else, it definitely forces a girl to move on quickly...and not look back.

Okay, if you haven't figured out, this happened to me, but you know what? It was honestly the best thing ever. No, I didn't cry over it. There's no point because I realized part of me had already moved on. However, I am slightly disappointed in the person, but I'm mostly mad at myself. Why, you ask? 1. I let my guard down and allowed someone to step in a take a very tiny part of my heart, but it was a part of my heart, nonetheless. Many people do not consider what happened to be taking part of my heart, but because I have no relationship background, it was a very VERY tiny part of it. 2. I wished I could backtrack and have made different decisions. 3. I wished I didn't get emotionally attached.

Even though I might be mad at myself, I am not, at all, regretting anything. Actually I am very thankful for it. It made me realize that I let my guard down too easily and allowed someone, who I (at one time) cared about, to step in. I have also come to the conclusion that I have to force myself to not get emotionally attached to a guy until both he and I realize that we're supposed to marry each other. I realized that when I do meet my future husband, he will have to work VERY hard to enter my heart. I'm going to force him to stay outside until I'm ready to awaken love. This is just another reminder of Song of Solomon 2:7.

How did I get past this so quickly without any hurt? I gave it to God. Okay, I know it sounds slightly redundant, but I did an activity that I learned from doing Emotionally Healthy Spirituality (EHS) with my church last year. I wrote the person a letter; however, it's a letter that I will NOT send. This letter allowed to me to say everything that I wanted to say. It allowed me to vent and let out everything I was bottling up. I'm taking that letter along with a few other things and will be burying it...literally, burying it. What happened in the past, stays in the past. I'm moving on and looking forward to all the wonderful things God has in store, which I know will include my amazing, God-fearing, heart-guarding husband. However, until that time comes, I am going to remain asleep in God's loving arms.

Life is full of heartbreaks, but God is the ultimate Healer. It is at the Cross that I am renewed and find rest. Thank You, Jesus, for Your unfailing love. Thank You for restoring me to the person You created me to be. I am blessed to serve an amazing God, like You!!

All of this has reminded me of an amazing song that three young ladies wrote a few years back: "Average Girl" by BarlowGirl.

There's no such thing as normal

So I've come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as normal. In a couple posts over the last month, I kept talking about having to get used to this idea of life as it is being normal or normal finally settling in. As soon as I say that, I'm pretty sure God, who of course has a wonderful sense of humor, decides to completely rock my world in one way or another. These moments are definitely bittersweet.

God has really been teaching me on this concept of just trusting Him and glorifying and praising Him in every situation. From Psalm 57 to Psalm 63, God is just reminding me through the words of David why I need to praise Him and why I desire to praise Him.

Also, God has been reminding me that He holds onto all His promises. Studying Romans, and specifically Romans 4 this past week, I am reminded that God never fails. He always comes through on everything that He has promised from Sarah having a child to Abraham being a father of many nations. However, this passage reminded me that our timing may not always being the same timing God has planned.

This is soooo true with my life. In the past I was typically patient and content with waiting, but as I have grown, I have found this patience to fall to the wayside. I've been sucked into the world's idea of instant gratification. Sadly, I need to pull away from this. I need to remember, with my job being an example, that God's timing is perfect and that there is a reason He does not allow certain things to happen right away.

As for relationships, which I've brought up in the past, God has really been drawing me to this idea of not awakening love until the time is right. I've become content with who I am and who God is changing me to be. Sometimes I find it hard though as my two greatest desires were to work as a teacher and get married. Now that I'm employed as a teacher, I am anxiously waiting and anticipating the second desire. However, I HAVE to keep reminding myself that God's timing is perfect and I just have to trust Him. It even says in Song of Solomon 8:4: "Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right."

Now continuing on this topic, I came across this artist, Teshuva, who are a husband and wife team (Sam and Angela). I love their style, but most importantly, I love the lyrics of their songs. Two of their songs are love songs that they wrote for each other to sing on their wedding day, one from her point of view and the other from his point of view. I feel that it is very connected to what I've been writing on and will include a link to both the songs at the bottom of this post. Angela sings ("Arms of Love") about not awakening love but goes on to relate how that love between husband and wife is an example of Yahweh's love for us. Sam sings ("All I Want") about not entering in to take a piece of her heart and how he will sit outside and wait for her to wake. Teshuva has it right when it comes to love. They understand that love and affection is not just an emotion that can be played with, but something that must be taken seriously. Most importantly, when that love is found, we need to wait for God's perfect timing. We need to be reminded that the love that comes from a relationship is just a mere glimpse of God's amazing love for us, His creation. Love really is one of the most powerful, if not THE most powerful, emotion that God created, and although heartbreak happens, it is such a wonderfully mysterious part of life. And this is just one reason I anxiously anticipate marriage :)