Time Passes and Life Moves Forward

I can't believe it has been over 18 months since my last post. Sad! I was fairly good about posting in the past, even small updates, but somehow I have become engulfed in life. Life - here is the 30 second update: I have enjoyed being married to my husband of 21 months. I began classes for a Doctorate of Education last May, and I am progressing through the program. I am still working full time as a special education teacher, and I am an adjunct college English professor between two different colleges. I also tutor on the side. Gabe and I are at new church, and we are very thankful for the church family we have been forming over the past eight months. We had to put down our baby, our cat Peanut, in December. It was unexpected. His diabetes was not cooperating with the insulin, and it began to negatively effect his body. However, also unplanned, was us adopting a bonded pair of six year old cats, who have been an amazingly awesome addition to our family. As for "real" babies, we're still waiting and are enjoying spending time with each other and our pets.

Even as life progresses, it still seems one area I am continually facing with having to overcome is rejection. It amazes me how a family can so nonchalantly place their child in a category of "black sheep." Actually, it is sickening. Although I am a part of this situation, it sickens me to sit back and watch it happen to someone I love. What's worse is that individual keeps trying and trying, when there is no give back. The only time this person is wanted is when there is a huge family gathering to show how "close" the family is. It is such a facade.

I am learning through the process of dealing with it that God is bigger. It also has given me a much greater appreciation for my family and the acceptance I receive from them. I wished the eyes of this person would be opened to make a move, instead of staying stagnant in continually trying to force a relationship that is not wanted and not there. Why keep trying when there is no want or desire for a true relationship or interest?

I have to keep praying God will work on my heart, along with the other person's heart, to forgive and move forward. I don't want to harbor resentment towards the people, which is a daily battle.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (2 Corinthians 12:9)