Thursday, June 7, 2012

That time of year

It seems to be that time of year where I am doing a lot of reflecting on where I've been over the past couple years, how I've changed, and where my life seems to be headed. A year ago I was sitting at a different high school being a long-term sub for an English, Child Development, and Nutrition classroom. I thought for sure the only high school I would want to teach at was that one. I was also interested in someone, and I thought the idea of being in a relationship would be the greatest thing. My life is not even a glimpse of what it was a year ago.


As for my "love" life  (or should I say non-existent love life), here is all that happened in a year, and I couldn't be more happy where I am at right at this moment. Fortunately that interest that I had a year ago quickly went away within just a few weeks because I realized it wasn't what God wanted, but then someone else popped into the picture unexpectedly. To start, that was complicated and I fell for it, which was stupid on my part. After a few months of having my heart intertwined with something that wasn't even there, I was taken by surprise with another person. However, I quickly ended anything before it started because I clearly let my emotions get in the way. Plus, we were VERY different on every level. The funny part is that even knowing this person for two years I thought I knew him. I guess it can take a long time to learn things about people, even when you thought you knew them inside and out. In a way, it's quite scary and it's made me realize that I will be approaching relationships from an extremely different angle. Oh well, I don't regret it because it made me realize how important I am, and if I were ever to get married I deserve someone who treats me like a queen. I've worked very hard to get where I am, and I want someone who has all the same ambitions in mind, someone who is compatible with me, and someone who has this amazing relationship with Jesus. So, to close this section of my life, I have to be completely honest in saying that I'm happy being single. I'm happy with it being just me and Jesus. In a way, I have a wonderful love life...just in a different way.


In regards to my job, I was so off as to what I thought I wanted. I, honestly, thought I would never be working in the special education field. I thought I was burnt out. I loved being an English teacher. However, God rocked my world when I was given the opportunity to work as a special education teacher at a high school that was quite a distance from the school I wanted to work at. You know what, this position has reacquainted me with my love for working in the special education field. Plus, I have been given so many more opportunities working here. Yes, I have learned a lot of patience and trusting God, but it has been an amazing experience. To be trained in reading strategies and to be able to develop an English Resource curriculum, are just a few of the amazing ways I have been blessed. So not only have I been reintroduced to my love for special education but I am now going to be experiencing teaching English to special education students. This is literally my dream job. How cool is God!


As for my schooling...well, I really wished I was done BUT I have been blessed in many different ways. I am very glad my Master's program is coming to a close. I'm excited about the topic I will writing my final project on and I'm am even more excited that I am working with my first choice for my advisor. With the ASD program, I would be lying if I said I have always to do it. Honestly, I said I would NEVER go for my ASD endorsement. Well, I'm seriously learning to never say never. I am so glad that the college I am at for my Master's is willing to work with me. The plus side is that the program is cheaper and the department is working with my prior experience.


Lastly, Africa. I couldn't be more excited to go to Africa. I feel like there is a huge part of me that belongs there. I can't wait to work with the kids to teach them swing dancing and jump rope. I am also blessed to be able to work with the other amazing 32 people that are going. It will be quite an experience, and I can't wait to document all my adventures while I am there.


Well, I think that gives a general summation of my life and how it's changed. I'm at this place in my life where God has just really shown me that even though I may not get my desires right at the moment I want them, He has His mysterious way of allowing it to all work out at some point, whether it be the next day or a few years down the road. This just reminds me of two scripture verses. These verses make me remember that God is in control, and He really only wants what is best for me.


"A man's heart plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps." (Proverbs 16:9)

"Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." (Psalm 37:4-5).