I've learned that avoidance is a great technique, haha. Okay, not really. It is actually a horrible thing that I deploy when I know I need to do something, like read a book that I have to teach or write on this blog. Actually I've really been trying to figure out how to write this post since almost 3 weeks ago. I've written it out in my head during those nights I have a hard time falling asleep because I have too much on my mind or when I'm either going for a run or taking the dog for a walk. Mostly in those quiet moment where I have time to think.
About three weeks after coming back from Africa, I was, after too much time a part, finally able to talk to a really good friend who lives in Chicago. This friend of mine also had the chance to do mission work the first two weeks of July in Brazil. He's my friend that I can always rely on to make things deep. In other words, I always have EXTREMELY meaningful conversations with him, which I greatly appreciate.
It, honestly, took me two weeks to get out of a bout of severe depression. I've never really been majorly depressed, at least not like this. It wasn't the "I'm so depressed. I hate my life." It was depression related to trying to figure out and apply everything I brought back with me from Africa. I am still very real about being open to relocate to Africa. I understand that I am stationed here in America for a few more years, but after that point, I am open to going where God needs me. Truthfully, I would love to open an orphanage.
Okay, so back to why I mentioned the conversation with my friend. After he came back from his mission trip, we discussed our experiences, what we learned, what we saw, etc. Once we shared stories about our trips, we began talking about how it related to our relationship with Jesus and how it impacted our Christian lives. Both of us realized how casual Christians are here in American, and probably most Third World countries. Actually for me, it was VERY frustrating, and I realized that is what was causing most of my depression. My heart was aching for the lukewarm Christians that lived in America and the fact that the heart of America has been buried by materialism and selfish desires.
During our conversation, we came to the conclusion that the problem with Christians in America is that many of them have not had a true encounter with Jesus and don't understand what it means to really have a relationship with Him. I realized that the people who were passionate Christ followers in Africa were just that, PASSIONATE! I'm not saying all Christians aren't passionate, but anymore it seems that it is like finding a needle in a haystack.
There was one thing that my friend said that has seemed to stick with me since then. He said that my experience in Africa is much like how our relationship with Christ should be. Before traveling to Africa, I knew all about where I was going and what it was going to be like. I wasn't shocked as to what I was walking into. I knew that it was going to be a Third World country and the traditional American way of living was practically royalty there. However, I didn't expect how much I would want to be there rather than in America. Once I experienced it, all I could do was dream of being there, and I couldn't stop talking about it or thinking about it.
Our Christian walk is much like this. Many people know of everything the Bible has to say. Many people also know of all the "Christian" ways. However, what many people don't understand is the experience factor. Once you have a true encounter with God, a person couldn't think of living life any other way. After that encounter all they think about is being with Jesus and communing with Him. It turns into a love relationship; however, before that it wasn't a relationship at all. It was just a bunch of facts stored in the brain.
I want my relationship with Jesus to be my main passion. More than anything, I want others to have that true encounter with God and desire to have a relationship with Christ. It breaks my heart to see so many people living a casual Christian lifestyle. I know sometimes I can fall in this category, but I am so glad God quickens my heart to desire to live out the Great Commission, as stated in Matthew 28:18-20, and passionately pursue Him.
