"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." -Proverbs 4:23
Monday, July 1, 2013
Back home
Spending the last few days in Livingstone has given me quite a bit of time to reflect on this trip. One person asked me how this year was different from last year. That's a tough question but a great one. This trip has been different, not that I would expect it to be the same. The most noticeable difference is the fact that I was excited to be coming back home this year. Last year, I, honestly, was not looking forward to coming home. Actually upon returning, I became extremely isolated because I was so moved by what I saw but not sure how to handle it, emotionally. Not that I'm not moved this year, but I was so touched last year that I would have dropped everything and relocated to Africa. Once I processed everything during the summer of 2012, I was able to learn quite a bit and apply it to my life here in America. Now, going back a second time, I am still in love with the country of Zambia. However, I have such a greater appreciation of how God has blessed me with my family, friends, home, job, and church family. I've realized over this last year that God has placed me in my current position for a reason and for that I am thankful.
I can't wait to see how I'm going to use everything that I've learned from this trip. I'm still in the process of doing a lot of reflecting. However, if I was asked to describe my emotions from this trip in one word, it would have to be GRATEFUL. Grateful for a loving family. Grateful for clean water. Grateful for safe food to eat and ALWAYS having food any time I want. Grateful for access to multiple Bibles in my house. Grateful to be living in a house that has running water, working electricity, and a roof that doesn't leak. Grateful for my cozy bed and comfortable living environment. Grateful for a plethora of clothes and shoes. Grateful for all the "wants" God has blessed me with, even if I necessarily don't "need" them. Grateful for a job. Grateful for all the opportunities God gives me. Overall, just grateful!
Monday, June 24, 2013
What a week
Exhausted may not even begin to describe how I feel. Six days on the field has left me with many memories. It also left me drained, emotionally. However, it is great how God has His way of giving a little boost to kick me out of the exhaustion.
The beginning of today started out with a bit of disappointment. I was supposed to be shadowing at the high school in Africa, but unfortunately things fell through. That meant I was back on outreach. Not that I didn't want to be on outreach because that is the team I asked to be a part of, but I was looking forward to a change in a pace. I felt like I was just giving all of myself over the past few days, and I wasn't sure how much more energy I had left.
It is awesome how God has a different plan. I was reminded how I just needed to rest in Him and not rely on my own strength - Zechariah 4:6. Part of the reason for hitting a wall was that I had so many emotions going through my mind. Today marks the 5 month anniversary of my grandma's death. I miss her more today than words can truly describe. I know she is much happier with Jesus, but I still miss her like crazy. And sometimes, I still cry...like last night and this morning. God was able to quiet my heart and speak to me through Psalms. He just reminded me to rest and reflect on His goodness.
So, today consisted of a new adventure: water filtration team. I REALLY wanted to do it and was so blessed to be a part of a four person team. We were able to go into the homes of multiple people, install water filters for lifetime clean water, and share the gospel of the living water, Jesus. It was a beautiful experience. The homes are so unique and the people are so special. My heart was completely stilled. I will never be able to see something so humbling again.
I am constantly being reminded that my life is not my own. Even though I may want something so much, God may have a different plan. And, that plan will be something better than I EVER could have imagined on my own.
Tomorrow is our last day before heading to Livingstone. I can't believe how fast the last week and a half has gone. The next 24 hours are going to be a great time of reflection to see how God will stretch us in the village one final time. This will probably be the last post until Livingstone. Shalinipo until then!
Friday, June 21, 2013
Two down...
...and one to go!
That's right, we have been on the field for 5 days now. We finished working in our second village today. Tomorrow we embark on the journey to the new and last village of the trip.
This last village, Kabwata, has been amazing. I have been so blessed to get to know so many children and amazing interpreters. I just love the one I had for three days, Brendah. Her and I just clicked. She is so full of love. Words seriously cannot describe how much I am going to miss her. Although, I am fortunate enough to be able to see her one last time on Sunday and keep in touch with her on Facebook.
Today, I got to witness to so many people...and by many, I mean about 58+. It was jam packed in the outreach room! I literally didn't get a break for 4 or so hours. During my time, I was able to have such a serious conversation with three lovely little girls. They wanted to know more about Jesus and the Bible. It was absolutely wonderful, and it just broke my heart...in a good way.
My heart is so filled with joy! This last village has made the trip remind me why I love being here oh so much! I have learned so many things, like more about the language, Zambian games, and how to dance African style - although I have learned white girls (and guys) don't have the hips to make it work, haha.
Although I am sad to say good-bye to this village, I am looking forward to meeting new people, as we transition to the new village tomorrow. So until then, mwende bwino!
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Outreaching...like crazy
So it has been a crazy past three and a half days. After making the last post, I found out the kids from the LHI orphanage were coming to the hotel to open their gifts from their sponsors. I was so very excited to see the boy I fell in love with last year, Chisenga. He grew so much but seems to be doing so well. He still totally has a piece of my heart.
Anyway, about the villages. The first village we visited was an interesting experience. On a good note, the medical team saw 765 people in the two days we were there! The village itself was very different than anything I encountered last year. The kids at this village were very needy, touchy, and expected a lot, specifically to give them stuff. Sometimes it got kind of crazy. They literally carried one of our teams members and chanted while carrying him...so yeah, different. It was definitely eye-opening but still a good experience.
As for the second village, which was today, it was AMAZING!!! I played with the kids almost the ENTIRE time. The turn out wasn't great on the medical end due to a miscommunication, but the many kids that were there were so pleasant. I taught jump rope, played soccer, and learned how to play net-ball...which just might be my new favorite game, haha. I also am extremely burnt from the sun...literally my neck is as red as a tomato. I swear to you that I put on sunscreen but I guess that's what I get for 4+ hours of standing in the African sun and being extremely white. My body feels as if it is radiating heat...I guess it works with keeping me warm during the chillier evenings. :-P
As for other things, the weather has been chilly: low 70s/high 60s with a lot of wind. Today was an exception with little wind and warming up to somewhere between 75 and 80. I have been trying to take pictures, although sometimes it's hard when you're having too much fun being one of the kids.
I can't wait to see how the next few days will turn out. On a plus, I will be observing in the school in Ndola on Monday. I am so looking forward to comparing the school in Zambia to schools in America. I am sure it will be an enlightening experience.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
We've arrived!
Well it has been a long 36+ hours, but the journey to Ndola has finally ended...or technically is just beginning. Between being over an hour delayed in Detroit and running through the terminals in Amsterdam, the travel has been an adventure. However, even with quite the adventure to start with, we arrived safely AND with all our luggage!
The weather right now is pretty cool. Probably between 70 and 80 in the afternoons and about 60 in the evening. The sun is gorgeous, as it shines throughout the entire day.
To say I missed being here is an understatement. It is almost as if I never left. Tonight is pill-packing for the medical/pharmacy team. Tomorrow begins the outreaches to the villages. Can't wait to see what's in store over the next couple weeks!
Thursday, June 13, 2013
The adventure begins...
I am more excited than ever to be going back to Zambia. However, it still hasn't quite hit me yet. I mean, yes I'm excited and my bags are packed, but it still seems so unreal. Until I board that plane, I don't think it will truly hit me that I'm going back to a country that I hold so dear and near to my heart.
I can't wait to be back in a country with people who are so passionate. Passionate about life, fellowship, and God. The appreciation and joy that is encountered there just seeps through every part of their body. And...it's contagious. Oh, and the music. To hear their voices, their powerful and melodic voices!
Okay, so maybe I'm more than excited and anxious to be going back. I've looked forward to it all year. Every chance I get to talk about my experience, I do. So, I'm ending it for now, but I'll be back in a few days when I have reached Africa.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
All in God's timing
Almost a month ago, on January 24, my beautiful grandmother went to be with Jesus. My emotions have been all over the place. I was extremely close with my grandma. She was everything to me. I valued her opinion. In my selfish world, she went too soon. However, being that she suffered the five months prior to her death, I know that she is in a much better place and truly received the ultimate healing. My heart is completely torn. No one can understand the type of relationship I had with her nor what I'm really going through. I will cherish the memories we had and will remember her constantly. She was one of my greatest influences. I wouldn't be who am I today without her influence. I only hope that I could one day have half of the qualities she had.
Within the last two months, I have also discovered that my dad got remarried at the end of the year. My mom and him were officially divorced November 1. My dad married his new wife at the end of December. He was dating/seeing his new wife while my parents were still married. I just don't understand how with a Christian mindset this is seen as acceptable. I also don't understand how he can spend all the effort and money he wants into completely remodeling his house, but for the ten or so years he lived with us, he didn't put barely a penny into updating anything. I'm just frustrated...if you can't tell.
However, I've realized with my grandma's passing, my family growing closer, seeing my dad quickly move on, and past experiences/encounters with guys, I've realized I don't know if I'll ever be able to get married. I'll be honest in saying that I have major trust issues, and I don't think I'll ever be able to trust a guy enough to marry him. I adore my family and can sometimes be seen as homebody. You know what, though, that's okay! I'd rather soak in every moment with my family and adopt children, instead of investing into a relationship that could potentially fall apart. I know this may seem like a slightly cynical comment. However, it's amazing how much other situations and people can influence a person's thinking. I've come to the conclusion that I have been hurt, emotionally. It's not that I don't want to get married because that desire is still completely and totally there. Maybe I just need to meet my "Mr. Right" in order to change that perspective, and he hasn't graced his presence in my life yet.
I'm learning that I'm content with where I'm at in my life. To be almost done with school. To be going back to Africa. To be purchasing my house. To be involved in worship through church and other places. To always be strengthening friendships and making new friends. To constantly be going on new adventures. To grow closer to my family. To continually pursue my relationship with Jesus.