One year ago on this day, my dear, sweet, wonderful grandmother passed away. I can honestly say that not a day goes by that I don't think about her. I loved her then and I still love her to this day. The hardest part of it all is seeing how much my life has changed since then and that I can't share in these new memories with her.
Sometimes it's really hard for me to think about it (let alone write about it) but my one wish was for my grandmother to see me get married. Unfortunately, I will never have the pleasure of her sharing in that momentous day when it does come. Now, I know that comment may sound like I'm mad at God. I'm not; don't take that the wrong way. I know God always has a better purpose. And, towards the end, my grandma was very much in pain. To see someone in pain makes you want to see them in pain no longer. So I am full of joy to know that my grandma is no longer in pain and gets to partake in everything that heaven has to offer. However, I greatly miss getting to share with her what is going on in my life, from missions to dancing to the new adventure I'm on with my boyfriend.
Sometimes I wished I could hold on to those moments when she was alive just a little longer. I want to hear her speak just one more time. I want to hear her laugh just one more time. Most of all, I just want to hear her call my name and say "I love you."
I know God only gives us a set amount of time to live on this earth, but many times people forget to cherish those moments. I'm glad God allowed me to have such a close relationship with my grandma. I am beyond blessed that she was one of my greatest supporters and greatest confidants.
I can't wait until the day that I am reunited with her in heaven.
And to say I got through writing this entire post without crying would be a lie. There is probably one tear for every word on this page. Even though I clearly miss her like crazy, I celebrate in the fact that she has a new life with Jesus.
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