My year definitely started out rough. I found out my dad got remarried, and I found out a month AFTER he actually wed his wife. The worst part was the realization that he was seeing his now-wife before my parents were officially divorced. That same day I found out the latest tidbit of information from my dad, my grandmother, who was extremely ill, was moved to hospice. She passed away just a mere three days later. I was crushed. I loved my grandmother so unbelievably much. I was extremely close to her and spent a lot of time gleaning from her, as I was growing up. She was a huge part of my world, and I could not imagine what life would look like without her in it. Adjusting was difficult, to say the least. However, I was and still am very thankful for my close knit family, who stuck together during this difficult time in our lives.
As life moved on, I began preparing to go to Africa. This year was different though. I was designated as the worship leader. I was ready and excited to return, having already been there once before. I had a lot of people I knew going. It was great. Although there was one problem, my close friend was going this time. I had done an excellent job of pushing him away, and the last thing I wanted was to have to spend over two weeks thousands of miles away from home in a slightly confined area with him. On and off over the past couple years, I liked him as more than just a friend. I was currently at an unsure stage and was trying to really avoid him to get my own life figured out.
Two weeks went by, and I was finally home. Africa was an experience, as expected, and it taught me a lot about myself. I also did pretty well at keeping my distance from my friend while in Africa and was sure glad that I didn't HAVE to see him every day now that I was back in Michigan. However, continuing to avoid him didn't last too long, as I started to cave and began to hang out with him. It was while he was away at a weekend of drill for the Army in July that I realized two days of no talking drove me crazy. I really liked this guy. Finally, he asked me to pursue a dating relationship with him, and here I am, still with him, over four and a half months later. During those four and a half months, we have learned a whole lot about each other. It has been so great getting to understand him on a different level. He really is not just my boyfriend, he's my best friend.
From July to mid-November, life seemed to be going great. I was loving my job. Then, boom! I was hit with a lay-off notice...well termination notice because of not being tenured. The district was in debt and had to make cuts. Being bottom of the totem pole, I found out I was getting cut mid-year. That means I only have my job through January 17.
Since finding out the news a week before Thanksgiving, my life has been turned upside down. Everything I once knew and loved was being pulled away from me. I thought I was working my dream job. However, I guess God has a different plan, and I have to learn to trust him. Even though it is frustrating being on the job hunt, I have realized that I am at complete peace about where my life is at. Yes, I over-think things and can worry sometimes, but it is totally in God's hands.
I feel that God has continually brought me to Psalm 31 the last month and half of 2013. No matter what happens in my life, God is my rock. I need to trust where He is leading. I need to continually remind myself that He does not forsake me and has the best plan for my life. What my life will look like in the next month, six months, or year, I do not know. But you know what? That's okay. God is in control. I am beyond grateful to serve a gracious God who knows me better than I ever will and has a greater plan for my life.
For this coming year, I have the following goals:
- Continually develop my relationship with God; seek after His face and to know Him more intimately; trust Him completely; and pursue His heart.
- Obtain a new job, one that God has set aside for me.
- Grow deeper in my relationship with my family and Gabe.
- Regularly go to the gym ;) - yeah, winter weather made me lose any drive to keep going once it hit in November.
- Be a Godly example to the young people I interact with.
- Go on an Alaskan cruise with my mom.
Well that's all I can think of for now...
Here's to a fresh start in 2014. I can't wait to see what kind of doors God opens and how He uses me for His glory this coming year.
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