Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Unexpected and slightly scattered

I just found out as I was preparing to write the post for today that the situation I have been seeking God about will be delayed for 3 weeks longer than what I expected, although even then it may not be addressed right away or at all, for that matter. However, once I received the news, I had emotions that I never realized existed. I definitely did not expect it. Wow, if this isn't called trusting in God, I don't know what is. I'm shocked but obviously God has a different plan for my relationship with Him. I can't wait to see what He has in store for me for the next month and a half. But, at this moment, I just want to cry, literally. I am speechless. I'm just going to give it to God, and I will definitely be using this as a learning experience. Sorry for the venting, I'm just very perplexed. So, as I TRY to go back to my original reason for posting...


Yesterday night during my time with God, I was studying Romans 8:15-18. I've recently tried to get into the habit of thanking God for His truly amazing and undying love for me. After reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan, I have such an utter awe for God. It's not that I didn't before, but it's just that this book brought it to the forefront of my life. How could I not love a God who loves me so much that He sent His one and only Son to die for me?? I shouldn't have any excuses to NOT love Him.


Anyway back to Romans 8:15-18:


"For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, 'Abba, Father.' The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."


This whole idea of sonship probably seems crazy to someone who doesn't believe in God. However, God has really been highlighting this through the way He's been ministering to me, with Crazy Love just being one way. This relationship God wants to have with me is unexpected. I am so unworthy; however, He still continually pursues me. How can a reject a person who continually pursues me?? Won't I break at some point from the constant love?? I would think so, and I would hope so. 


I want to be so in love with God that I would be willing to do whatever He called me to do. Suffering in this lifetime is nothing compared to the glory that I will encounter when I reach heaven. I want to continually seek after God's glory. The song that has been on my heart lately is "Shekinah Glory" by Cory Asbury. I know God ministers to me through music. This song applies perfectly to what He has been revealing to me about seeking Him and being in His presence:


We wait for You, we wait for You
We wait for You; walk in the room

Here we are, standing in Your presence
Here we are, standing in Your presence
Shekinah glory come down, Shekinah glory come down

Release the fullness of Your Spirit
Shekinah glory come, Shekinah glory come

You move and we want more, You speak and we want more
You move and we want more; we want the fullness

We want more, we want more, we want more, we want more
We want more, we want more, more of Your Spirit


I know this post seems to jump around, and that's because it does! Haha. I can't seem to focus my thoughts because I'm still wrapping my head around many things. I just want to end this by saying that I am utterly thankful to serve such an amazing God that wants to have a relationship with me! I'm going to be focusing on the following the verse:


"For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, 'Abba, Father.'" (Romans 8:15)


I also wanted to post the song that I was referencing above. Enjoy!


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