It's been some time...

Obviously I haven't posted in a long time...going on almost two months. Life has forced its way in between. However, this is definitely not a positive thing. I've realized in some ways I've grown, but in many ways, I am definitely lacking. Ultimately, I'm really needing to focus on my personal relationship with God.

Over the past two months, quite a bit has happened. I've gained some amazing new friends, who strive after God. They've pushed me to understand God at a new level. I've also discovered the amazing book Forgotten God by Francis Chan, reread Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis, finished Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick, and am currently delving into Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Although, I've come to the realization that just because I talk about Him and read about Him doesn't mean I'm developing a personal relationship with Him.

I've been stuck on this idea of being in a relationship and marriage that I've forgotten to put God at the center of it. I know He's my first love, but I forget that when I focus on Him all things will just fall into place. Essentially, I just need to trust Him.

I'm going through a time right now that I'm going to be wholeheartedly seeking Him; something I've never really focused on. Over the past couple days, my life (specifically my "love" life) became a drastic whirlwind, and I am taking the next 5 or so weeks to just focus on Him. I really feel as if I know and have known my answer regarding this relationship situation, as I've received some confirmation over the past couple weeks. However, I realize there's this thing that sometimes I get caught into following my head and not following God's plan. God says in Song of Solomon 2:7: "Young women of Jerusalem, I charge you, by the gazelles and the wild does of the field: do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time." So, separation from the situation is the first step and seeking God is the second step. I need to completely clear my thoughts and focus on God's ways for my life. I also need to pray that the person receives the same revelation I do from God and that our motives are absolutely pure.

I also am completely and totally blessed with some of the most amazing girls. I have a large circle praying, interceding, and helping to discern with me. They are my closest confidants, and I am so glad they are helping to give me direction and pushing me to focus on God.

I will eventually do a follow-up post to the last one on love, but mainly I'm going to be using this as a way to express my thoughts and show how God has been dealing with me. I also want it to show the growth in my relationship with God and to use it to continue to propel that relationship forward.

Current verse I'm meditating on:
"For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." (Habakkuk 2:3)