Just a bunch of craziness

I don't even know where to begin. A four day break makes me feel like a total slacker, but I promised I've been SUPER busy. Actually I can't even say much on here because I'm not open to sharing it with an online community. The thing I can say is that this weekend has been interesting. So many emotions were spinning, mainly excitement. I heard from someone I haven't heard from in a few weeks, and it was like things never changed, which is a wonderful to know. I'm also going to be attempting to do some good, old-fashioned letter writing. I haven't done that in sooooo long. I have to say it was really hard to write the first letter. What do you say to someone you wished was standing next to you, but is hundreds of miles of away? And on the other hand I can't expect anything back...which is a strange feeling. So that describes part of my weekend.

God has also been really dealing with me about a lot of things. I tend to be one that bottles things up. A better way to describe this is that I'm more likely to listen rather than talk. However, I have to veer from the "bottle things up" description because I don't suddenly explode after some time. I actually will just keep hiding it and then when it gets too overwhelming I will talk with someone. On that note, I was able to finally get two things off my chest this weekend, which feels great. It's as if a heavy burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I've also felt my relationship with God has grown closer because I'm learning to deal with things (whether positive or negative) instead of wishing I had and getting frustrated with myself.

Yesterday, I was drawn back to Psalm 27:4: "One thing I have desired of the LORD, that will I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to inquire in His temple." I want my relationship with God to grow at an unbelievable rate. I want His glory to shine through me. I want to see His beauty. I want to just sit at His feet and soak everything in. I want to stay close to Him. 


Of course, I HAVE to have a song that's been ministering this same message. However, I have realized that is how God works through me and many times, this is how I receive confirmation from Him. I recently purchased Cory Asbury and Matt Gilman's album. I actually bought it because I really enjoy how Matt Gilman leads worship. As I've had a chance to listen through the entire album, I have clicked, particularly over this weekend, with "Stay Close" by Cory Asbury. The chorus of the song goes as follows:


I wanna stay close to the fire in Your eyes,
To the burnings of Your heart
I don’t wanna grow cold
So come and set Your seal of love upon my heart,
Love as strong as death
Till I’m forever Yours

This whole concept of just being friends with God seems so simple, yet why do so many people abandon it? Essentially, God just wants us to be His friend. Think about this: when a new friend comes into our lives, we want to introduce them to our other friends. In turn, they become friends and that circle continues to expand. Isn't that what God expects from us? I would have to say 100% YES!

I want to stay close with God. I want to be His forever. Everything I have ever wanted I have found in Him. He is my every desire. He satisfies all my needs. He loves me, even though I have many faults. How could I not desire to seek Him, to see His face and behold His beauty?!?! The answer is that I can't!!

I'm still focusing on Psalm 27:4 right now because that seems to be where my heart is leading me. In the meantime, enjoy the song by Cory Asbury: