Just waiting

Can I just be real for a second? I, honestly, believe that guys do not have emotions. I cannot understand how they can say they like a girl and then two second later, get over them and be interested in someone else. Girls get attached, and it takes more than a second to get over them. I feel like most guys do not grasp this concept. However, when they go and make a move like telling them their interested in someone else, it definitely forces a girl to move on quickly...and not look back.

Okay, if you haven't figured out, this happened to me, but you know what? It was honestly the best thing ever. No, I didn't cry over it. There's no point because I realized part of me had already moved on. However, I am slightly disappointed in the person, but I'm mostly mad at myself. Why, you ask? 1. I let my guard down and allowed someone to step in a take a very tiny part of my heart, but it was a part of my heart, nonetheless. Many people do not consider what happened to be taking part of my heart, but because I have no relationship background, it was a very VERY tiny part of it. 2. I wished I could backtrack and have made different decisions. 3. I wished I didn't get emotionally attached.

Even though I might be mad at myself, I am not, at all, regretting anything. Actually I am very thankful for it. It made me realize that I let my guard down too easily and allowed someone, who I (at one time) cared about, to step in. I have also come to the conclusion that I have to force myself to not get emotionally attached to a guy until both he and I realize that we're supposed to marry each other. I realized that when I do meet my future husband, he will have to work VERY hard to enter my heart. I'm going to force him to stay outside until I'm ready to awaken love. This is just another reminder of Song of Solomon 2:7.

How did I get past this so quickly without any hurt? I gave it to God. Okay, I know it sounds slightly redundant, but I did an activity that I learned from doing Emotionally Healthy Spirituality (EHS) with my church last year. I wrote the person a letter; however, it's a letter that I will NOT send. This letter allowed to me to say everything that I wanted to say. It allowed me to vent and let out everything I was bottling up. I'm taking that letter along with a few other things and will be burying it...literally, burying it. What happened in the past, stays in the past. I'm moving on and looking forward to all the wonderful things God has in store, which I know will include my amazing, God-fearing, heart-guarding husband. However, until that time comes, I am going to remain asleep in God's loving arms.

Life is full of heartbreaks, but God is the ultimate Healer. It is at the Cross that I am renewed and find rest. Thank You, Jesus, for Your unfailing love. Thank You for restoring me to the person You created me to be. I am blessed to serve an amazing God, like You!!

All of this has reminded me of an amazing song that three young ladies wrote a few years back: "Average Girl" by BarlowGirl.